poohchan (poohchan) wrote in closetedyouth,

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How hard to living here!

I'm 23 years old living in Japan.
I haven't actually out loooong time. because of japanese society.
I know i like girls when i was young,but I know it won't change anything if i doing something.
because many straight people don't have idea there is girls who likes girl...especially when we are young.
they have only 2 choice friends or not.

I only have been crush on straight girls. because the people i meet is only from school or ..something..!
even there is gay woman somewhere,we won't know..becuase they dressed like a girl, maybe dating with guy, talking about the guy with friends. it's incruded on me..we have to pretend something...to living everyday life..!!
even i don't want to follow that,, people will think strange to me why i didn't talk about guys etc.
every wired thing is...maybe not only Japan,,,but when we have drink alcohol with some friends..(with work or among friends),usually topic is always about relationship,guys...!girls like to talk about it ALL the time. even I said i don't have...but still they try to ask more detail or something. it makes me tired to answer...and i don't wanna answer..!but it seems if i talk about these relation stuff,they think they can share more secret.so our friendship strongly..!
I don't need to do strongly...^^; but...it tend to happen ..!
how do you think about it? it should be private if I don't want to say!?right?

these situation it makes me still closet myself.
I told a few friends..but...not many.

often says..if they are true friends,they will accept you...
but is it true???  I have some great friends.maybe it's not only thinking myself.
but if I tell myself...they don't accept me. are they not true friends?
it's so hard to see people who is right person to tell the truth...

Don't you think so?how do you think about these Japanese society?

thank you for reading!!!
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