yuki_the_prince (yuki_the_prince) wrote in closetedyouth,


Hi there. I decided to join this group because I've grown a little tired and I'm exhausted from figuring things out.

My name's Bridget and I'm 21 years old. This Friday is my Birthday. I'll be 22 and I'll still be a virgin. This doesn't bother me much... or at least didn't really bother me until recently.

Why? Everyone seems to think something is wrong with me. I began to ponder if I was a lesbian. However I just don't know and I can't trust my senses for the life of me. I wish I could find out without actually having to experiment or anything... but I can't tell. I mean... I think guys are awesome and cool and attractive but I often decline their advances. In fact there isn't one I accepted EVER. Even though I think guys are swell and good looking.... I get very nervous around them. The only person to ever get close to expressing some affection towards me was a girl in college. She kissed me as a joke... and caught me by surprise. It felt so good I wanted to kiss her back! However nothing ever happened between us.

I'm just so confused because most lesbians seem to KNOW they are a lesbian... because they always felt that way...

but I don't think men are ugly or anything, and I fangirl about guys in books, comics, shows, and various medias all the time....where as I don't really fangirl much about other females.

but in everyday life I can't seem to bring myself to date yet....

When I was a kid I thought I was straight... thinking I was going to get married and have a kid... but as an adult now... I don't want kids... and I haven't dated!

I'm just so confused and I don't know what to trust. I keep over thinking things... like "what if I just haven't meet the right guy, or what if I'm just saying this because I think men are scary, or what if I'm bisexual, what if I'm asexual, what if I just liked that kiss because It was my first kiss?"

I just don't know...

I turn to you all for advice... how did you all figure out yourselves? How could you trust your senses? How did you get your answers?

I feel like I should just remain alone. I'm not sad or lonely... but I sure feel different and I know my family thinks I'm strange.
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